Feminist Underwear

Just One of the Guyz

Elizabeth Banks and I are in a fight.

See, I like Elizabeth Banks. More than that, I want to like her. She’s made a name for herself mostly in comedy and we all know how much I like pretty blonde ladies who do well in comedy.

However, her recent Women’s Health interview left me feeling deeply saddened, and it wasn’t just because she tried to insinuate eating bananas was as delicious and easy as eating candy. (I call bullshit, hungry actresses.)

She also said,

“I can hang with the dudes because I love beef and baseball and driving fast and flirting. I understand where men are coming from and I’m interested in typically male endeavors. But I can also wear the short skirt and cheerlead.” -source

In short, she revealed herself to be:

Really, Elizabeth Banks, really?

You enjoy watching sports games and eating food?

Since you seem to be confused, here are a few examples of things most human beings enjoy:

• Pizza/wings
• Beer
• Playing Video Games
• Watching Television
• Wearing sweatpants

Here are a few examples of things our society seems to think that only men enjoy:

• [See above list.]

Furthermore, let’s talk about what it means when you insinuate (or declare openly) that you are “just one of the guys” (besides the obvious insinuation that you are a supreme asshole.)

It means that you think you’re better than other women.

See, according to these nerds, most girls don’t eat food or drink beer. Most girls don’t watch spots or play sports or video games or sit on the couch yelling at the TV.

And let me tell you, as a professional lesbian who also hangs out with a lot of straight ladies, I have not met one woman who doesn’t at least marginally enjoy most of these things.

What makes you so insecure that you have to cut down other women and “feminine” activities like shopping or whatever, to make you feel good about yourself? Oh wait, it’s society.

But I’m sick of that shit. I’m sick of women who put down other women, directly or indirectly, by calling themselves one of the bros or one of the guys or one of the dicks.

Because guess what? If some dudebro is impressed by the fact that you enjoy eating food and watching TV enough to act like no other woman on the planet likes it, he’s a douchecanoe. And you shouldn’t want to be friends with him anyway.

And guess what else? When you say shit like, “I can still put on the short skirt and cheerlead” you’re basically affirming the fact that most men, especially the kinds of men you’re trying to make nicey nice with, will sexualize you anyway. They’ll objectify you. They won’t support you when you tear down other women, and if you spend time tearing down other women then women won’t support you either, and you will end up very sad and alone. You’re not one of the guys. You don’t want to be one of the guys. And the fact that being a woman is something you’re ashamed of says more about you than it does about All Those Other Girls (TM.)

Expectation:

Reality:

The girl in the bottom picture isn’t getting a lot of cool new man friends to chill out with. She’s getting hit on by skeevy weirdos who don’t respect her and probably don’t want her at their football watching party unless she’s going to be dancing topless (because they’re assholes, surprise!), and she just wasted a whole bunch of energy putting down all of womankind to do it.

So ladies, let’s make a pact to stop calling ourselves one of the guys because we think we’re being cute. Let’s instead call ourselves women who like shit that lots of other people like and if guys want to chill out with us and do that shit do, then that’s awesome. If not, it’s their loss.